Hey everyone. Time for my daily, aka, weekly, aka quarterly post! And it just so happens to come right before the Super Bowl. Imagine that. Everyone wants to know, “CFB, who do you think will win the Super Bowl this year?”
Answer? The bettors. As long as you take the points. Long story short, 49ers -3.5, -4, 4.5, whatever, it doesn’t matter. The RAVENS will cover, if not win outright. Let’s break it down.
QB: Both quarterbacks are GDIs. Kaepernick has tats all over the place. Flacco has a unibrow. If someone had inside info saying Kaepernick had “Kaepersnake” tatted on his dick, then I’d give him the edge. As such, I like the fact that Flacco said a Super Bowl in New York during the winter is “retarded”. Intangibles.
RB: Ray Rice is so extremely overrated. He is a midget. Frank Gore gets shit on for some reason, even though he’s likely a shoo-in for the hall of fame. Difference in this part of the game will come down to which secondary RB gets in for a score. I think the 49ers’ backup idiots are better.
WR: Michael Crabtree has come up big recently and Randy Moss has made it all about himself over the past few days, but give me Torrey Smith and Anquan Boldin every day of the week, and twice on Sunday.
TE: Vernon Davis will catch a TD but between the 20s he will be non-existent. Dennis Pitta doesn’t know his ass from his elbow, so yea. Also, some Sports Illustrated Guy picked Pitta to be the Super Bowl MVP, meaning he will be a non factor. DP is sweet though.
OLINE/DLINE/STS: 49ers are better in at least 2 of these categories.
Who Wins: 30-28 Baltimore Ravens win.
Look, the 49ers are the better team. But since when has the better team won in the Super Bowl? The Ravens are a team of Destiny, and, as my grandma has always said: “fuck what makes sense, let’s just bet the mortgage on that which amounts to a feeling.”
That said: Go Ravens!